I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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