I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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