Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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