i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize