yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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