Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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