I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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