You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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