Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize