Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize