We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize