Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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