the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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