So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
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Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
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The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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