you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
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By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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