I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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