in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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