We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
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who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
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There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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