so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize