I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize