Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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