it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize