I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize