But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize