Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize