We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
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at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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