So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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