Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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