The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize