im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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