Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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