two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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