Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
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my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
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I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize