I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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