i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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