she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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