I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
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I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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