your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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