Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Its about making memories worth repressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize