I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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