I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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