He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
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