I wish I only lived at night.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize