PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize