She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
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He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
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Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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