I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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