Apparently you make a good broom.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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