did you get engaged???
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
its liver damage thursday
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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