so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize