my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize